I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
