He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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