naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
