Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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