i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
