That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
