we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
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On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
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8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Let's get the cat blown out
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?