ADVERTISEMENT

• (636): View more from Missouri

  I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes

  Fav 7 1156 1327

  share tweet
  

• (319): View more from Iowa

  Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts

  Fav 51 5375 1232

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (727): View more from Florida

  Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.

  Fav 14 1668 4322

  share tweet
  

• (339): View more from Massachusetts

  today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.

  Fav 22 4191 961

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (773): View more from Illinois

  Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.

  Fav 2 2985 1182

  share tweet
  

• (631): View more from New York

  He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.

  Fav 5 2953 1036

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.

  Fav 6 2527 1033

  share tweet
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs

  Fav 4 1690 876

  share tweet
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens

  Fav 2 2372 895

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.

  Fav 9 2520 749

  share tweet
  

• (678): View more from Georgia

  Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.

  Fav 16 1980 634

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.

  Fav 2 106 184

  share tweet
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it

  Fav 1 64 4

  share tweet
  

• (802): View more from Vermont

  I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends

  Fav 0 37 10

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (251): View more from Alabama

  we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.

  Fav 0 10 12

  share tweet
  

Randomize