I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
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He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
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Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".