i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.