Texts From Last Night

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  (571): View more from Virginia

  is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?

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  (571): is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided? http://tfl.nu/vrm3
  Replies (8) Good night (3413) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Are you with Adam and his vodka?

  (1-516): View more from New York

  Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued

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  (516): Are you with Adam and his vodka? (1-516): Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued http://tfl.nu/0qde
  Replies (29) Good night (4326) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.

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  (979): Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight. http://tfl.nu/18md
  Replies (85) Good night (14035) Bad night (1355)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"

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  (816): Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face" http://tfl.nu/0o08
  Replies (54) Good night (10972) Bad night (1916)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."

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  (479): He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana." http://tfl.nu/t5zw
  Replies (35) Good night (1824) Bad night (4280)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.

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  (641): We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard. http://tfl.nu/xmhj
  Replies (12) Good night (4428) Bad night (1169)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.

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  (630): I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar. http://tfl.nu/ha0p
  Replies (5) Good night (1757) Bad night (1161)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.

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  (508): Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole. http://tfl.nu/xgp0
  Replies (5) Good night (2398) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  She just gave me a free latte.

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.

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  (514): She just gave me a free latte. (416): Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina. http://tfl.nu/g8qo
  Replies (7) Good night (3584) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.

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  (412): I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised. http://tfl.nu/nqg7
  Replies (9) Good night (2074) Bad night (1126)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover

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  (831): My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover http://tfl.nu/d6nk
  Replies (16) Good night (707) Bad night (2073)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.

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  (702): There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that. http://tfl.nu/7qcf
  Replies (3) Good night (1357) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial

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  (406): She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial http://tfl.nu/8xau
  Replies (11) Good night (3587) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding

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  (205): i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding http://tfl.nu/mji7
  Replies (3) Good night (362) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.

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  (573): I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears. http://tfl.nu/ml9w
  Replies (0) Good night (297) Bad night (142)

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