I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
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He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
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It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.