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Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
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