I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..