So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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