FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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