If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
