Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize