names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
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So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
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You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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