just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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