pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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