no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
