I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
