I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
