And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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