I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
