Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
