I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Drake has all the answers
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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