Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
