Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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