I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
