We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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