no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
