no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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