As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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