remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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