dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
