You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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