I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Text me some of your sweat
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