i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
