You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
