do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize