Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
