i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
