and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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