why didn't you poke me back
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
All I want is dick and wine.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize