i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
