I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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