so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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