Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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