sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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