please come you make the beer taste better
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
