I am full of burrito and curiosity
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
