I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
