You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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