I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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