What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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