coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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