There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
What did we do last night that was yellow?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
