i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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