Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
