be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
