Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
