Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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