Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
