Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm both gender and math confused
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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