I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
